Hello to all you present and past feminists!
I have a story to share. Let me tell you about an experience that I had a week ago with someone who stated — quite vociferously — what a strong feminist she was and is to a small group at dinner. She obviously wanted this point to come across to everyone at the table.
Yet, on saying goodbye at the end of the dinner, she told me quite strongly how she felt about all of my husband Abe’s many accomplishments. Well, I am extremely proud of my late husband’s many accomplishments as well as the wonderful husband he was to me. We met as teenagers and grew up together; we built a life together. We built a business together. We shared everything and, as he said: I was his only partner.
What bothered me about this conversation? That she assumed that I had nothing to do with all of the “accomplishments.”
This, from a feminist?
Okay, she doesn’t know all about our personal lives. I can’t expect her or anyone to know that…yet the automatic assumption that I did not have anything to do with my husband’s work life should be anathema to a feminist.
I might add here that this happens quite often to me and I really don’t like to correct people when they do that. But I wish people would meet other people where they are and not have pre-existing perceptions. I learned this as a practicing psychiatric social worker for over 25 years. Bringing pre-conceived ideas of what a person is when you meet them for the first time can end a potentially great relationship before it even begins.