How does one begin to discover one’s own way? How difficult is this when one is in the midst of grieving? Trying to adjust?
I would say, very!
Yet that is the challenge. So, while one is struggling with the psychic pain of the separation, one also seeks ways to move on; to recuperate. Since there is no formula that suits everyone, one needs to look more closely at what are the resources one has available to them. This includes family, friends, children and religion. One needs to look at their life situation; what is going on in ones’ life at the particular time. In fact, ultimately, the ability to move on depends on one’s own personality.
It is important; therefore, to recognize the differences. Everyone will cope differently. What is the way that you have coped in the past with difficult situations? What can you remember about how you went through the past crises?
Even while my crises were a few years ago, it wasn’t until recently while I was writing my memoir, that I discovered my way. Obviously I was doing it but I couldn’t tell you what it was until now. As I was struggling to tell much of my story, one day I remembered something that I tell myself. I now heard the words that I repeat as I go through each difficult situation. How do I get through this?
What I realized was, that I wasn’t saying, “I can’t handle this,” or “I give up.”
What I was saying was, “I will search until I find a way. “ It was positive, not negative.
What do I have to do to get THROUGH this?
Well I just told you my way after I told you that one needs to find his or her own way. But I also told you that sometimes one can discover one’s own way by hearing another’s.
I have talked to close friends, family members, my husband, my children, all of whom have had to deal with their own crises and each one does have their own way. Ultimately, it is up to you, the individual, to seek and find and get THROUGH the difficulties that life presents all of us.