Looking back at my marriage to Abe, I would compare the strength of our marriage to a chain. And I see now what held it together, sometimes through major efforts to break it.
It seems to me now that over the 64 years of our marriage, rather than “glue,” it was the addition of one link of “chain” at a time that held us together when things got rough.
I won’t name all the rough things. (and some were quite rough) but I would say that several of these difficulties often take a marriage down.
One, early in our marriage, was dealing with sick children. And we had two. It is quite common when there are sick children in a family that require major care, time, responsibility, and decision making; couples don’t make it.
But this is when Abe and I worked together in tandem; this is when we instinctively knew our roles…and we came through. This is when we created our first link in the invisible chain – inextricably linked -that we were creating.
I will mention one more at another time. I’m not including it here because it also involved outside forces.
I’m glad that Abe and I weren’t aware that we were building this chain. I’m glad that we did it out of our own instincts and that it held together for as long as we needed it.